A new year is upon us, and many of us are thinking about ways to boost our happiness and well-being. We head to the gym. We eat more veggies. We vow to refrain from snapping at our kids. It’s as if what happens “out there” will help with our happiness “in here.” But the reality is that much of our discontent comes from the inside.
A Harvard study revealed that our minds wander away from the present for nearly half of our waking hours. We get stuck planning the future or play internal tape loops of rumination about the past. And the less present we are, the more stress and anxiety we experience and, importantly, the less happy we feel.
So, how do we do we get out of our heads and into the present?
Mindfulness is the way home. By definition, mindfulness is present-moment awareness. It is an attention to what’s happening as it is happening. So, to get out of our heads is to experience the moment in the moment rather than being lost in the past or the future. It is the act of being fully present.
When we actually inhabit our bodies, we gather the raw data of sensation. We know what anger or sadness or joy feels like, thus we know we’re feeling it. We know when we’re hungry, or, more importantly, when we’re full. We know when we are contracted or expansive. Then, in any situation, we can respond with more understanding and skill.
Friends, let’s give it a try!
Here’s is how to get out of your head – and into your body.
Drop your attention.
We’re still using our minds, but we’re using our minds to attend to our bodies. To pay attention to our bodies, we direct our attention in and down. Let’s try it now. Take ten seconds to scan your body from the neck down. Notice how your chest feels in this moment. Then your arms, hands, torso, legs, and feet. Notice the sensations you may be experiencing where your buttocks touch the chair and feet touch the ground.
Access your felt sense.
Now it’s time to dive a little deeper. We want to really feel sensations rather than think about them. Let’s start by looking at our hands. What do you see? You may think: wrinkles, sun spots, a hangnail, fingernails that need to be cut, a scar from that one time… Now close your eyes and feel your hands from the inside. Access the raw data of sensations: tingling, pulsing, pressure, heat, coolness. This is the felt sense – raw data from the body, without any stories about it.
Bring an attitude of curiosity and care.
Knowing is a natural quality of the mind. What is being known right now? (Perhaps that you’re sitting, reading) When we attend to our bodies, we naturally experience and know sensations. And our knowing can be colored by attitude. Bringing a sense of curiosity and care allows us to connect with our bodies in a way that is compassionate and without judgment. Consider: What would it be like to accept body experience without judging or adding stories or “shoulds?”
Aim for small moments, many times.
Knowing is natural, but remembering to tune in takes practice. So, we aim for small moments, many times. We may tune into our body sensations periodically while eating or when we notice emotional intensity (best to catch it early). Pick times to regularly check in with the body throughout the day – perhaps after a shower or when you are mid-way through a meal. Sticky notes on the mirror or a phone alarm could serve as useful reminders here. After a week of paying attention, you’ll know more abut what it’s like to actually inhabit your body.
Over time, we learn the sensation of heat rising with the feeling of irritation before we mindlessly react, or the sensation of pressure associated with the feeling of fullness before we’ve overeaten. And, with the raw data of sensation, we can be fully in the present and make wiser choices that better support our own happiness and well-being. Here’s to that!
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